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Confession: I’m a bit of a self-proclaimed foodie.
I love food. There’s no way on God’s green earth that I could ever be anorexic, because I would miss food too much. I love cooking it. I love eating it. Some days I eat so many delicious things that I fear one day I will be 400 pounds.
But not until AFTER i’m done eating it.
One of my most favoritest things in the world to cook (and eat) is hamburgers. I freakin’ LOVVVVVVVVVVVE hamburger night, and the reason is… I add every good thing in the world to my hamburgers. My theory is that if you take loads of ingredients that kick tastebud butt on their own and then add them all together, then your average Joe burger magically transforms into SUPERBURGER- but like the Adam Levine of burgers. YUM!!
Anyways, last night was Burger Night. I started drooling just writing that sentence and remembering how tingly my tastebuds got biting into that succulent piece of meat- SO to be fair I decided to share with you, the world, my WORLDS GREATEST HAMBURGER FORMULA.
Now, before I get hate mail, “save the animals, why must innocent cows die!? STOP THE MADNESS” type letters, let me save you the trouble. I hate cows. They are good to eat. They are better to eat with BACON. I will never apologize for being at the top of the food chain. If an animal wants to evolve enough to grow opposable thumbs and hunt ME, so be it. Until then, I will hunt and eat them. Humanely. Of course.
MOVING ON! If you have any food allergies, preferences, dislikes, etc… this is probably not the hamburger for you. But for everyone else… this is delicious.
First off! We start with butter. Yes, I said it. Screw Atkins- this is the stuff good dreams are made of. Chuck it in a pan over med-high heat and let ‘er sizzle.
Then you add butter’s best friend, Garlic. Lots of garlic. Like, 3 cloves, crushed with the nifty garlic press my mother in law gave me. THANKS BARB!
let that dance together for a bit, and then add in some big chunks of mushrooms. Yum!
after the three are intimately acquainted- you want to add in about a handful of breadcrumbs. Right now I’m using the cubed ones- but you can pretty much use whatever you want… even soda crackers would work- but I like breadcrumbs because they’re less salty, and when they’re paired with the butter & garlic and are in a hamburger, it’s like little landmines of flavor.
Saute those for a bit- say 5-6 minutes. Then you’re gonna add 1/4 of milk into the saucepan and mash everything up real good- and saute for another 10 minutes. I’m not saying this is the quickest way to make a burger, I’m just saying it’s the best.
I also don’t have a photo of that, because it looks like garbage. And to be honest- I only decided I was going to blog this AFTER I dumped the mixture into the beef and started mashing. Ooops.
So ok- dump the whole pan into about a pound of hamburger. (We are eating Thunder right now- that was the cow’s name. See? Humane. No cows suffered in the making of this feast. I swear.) Add one egg. Mix until it is JUUUUUUST all combined. Too much mixing makes tough hamburgers.
Remember how I said everything’s better with bacon? Well I decided to wrap the burgers, after I formed them into balls, with bacon. Best. Decision. Ever. I also used a kabob stick to hold it all together while we BBQ’d it.
ok! BBQ time!! Graham is my BBQ Chef, and Mia is his beautiful assistant. They’re working super hard, as you can tell. It was such a nice night that Mia asked if we could sit outside. Of course, she’s the boss, and so we did. Good choice, Mia!
Once the burgers are getting nice and crispy looking, you want to add cheese. They’ve already got the bacon & mushrooms incorporated. Generally, I also add diced onions to my burgers, but unfortunately I was out last night. They’re on my grocery list for next time though.
At this point, I also line up the condiments we’ll be using. The usual culprits are all there- mayo, mustard, ketchup, and even Budweiser BBQ Sauce… but hold onto your hats, ’cause there’s a new sheriff in town- President’s Choice Bacon Marmalade. Now, this stuff changed the way we do burgers. I know it sounds weird- but HOLY COW ON A BUN is it amazing!! Go out and get some at Superstore if you’re in Canada- and if you’re not, I can be bought for a price and will UPS you some. Life. Altering.
On the salad is one of the other life changing products I use all the time- Little Creek Vinaigrette. SO good. It comes from Kelowna BC and is found at lots of little supermarkets around the area-BC & Alberta. Very tasty!! Also good on chicken.
By the time I’m done setting the stage, the Burger is ready to make it’s grand entrance. You’re going to want to smear a ton of bacon marmalade on your cheese bun, slap some mayo over that, dabble in BBQ sauce, a smidge of mustard, some crispy fresh lettuce (and tomatoes if you’re into the kinky stuff) and OMG.
It’s ready. I think I died a little when I bit into this masterpiece.
And here’s the hamburger recipe just because I rambled a lot, and I’m not sure I was all that coherent. Enjoy, people!! Let me know what you’re adding to your hamburgers, and how you liked these- the more we share together, the happier we’ll be!
WORLD’S BEST HAMBURGER RECIPE:
1 pound lean ground beef
1 cup chopped mushrooms
3 cloves of garlic, crushed
1/2 cup breadcrumbs
1/4 cup milk
Bacon. Lots of bacon.
Sauté butter & mushrooms until mushrooms are soft. Add breadcrumbs. Sauté 5-6 minutes- add breadcrumbs and continue cooking for 5 minutes. Add milk. Cook until mixture is soft and resembles a rough paste. Combine with ground beef and egg and mix until just combined. Form into balls, wrap with bacon, and BBQ. Generally, I think it’s about 10-15 minutes for BBQ- but that’s Graham’s department.